It Will Never Happen To Me

Every day
I commute to the centre of the future to stare at dark mirrors
Every day
Powers from all over the world come to see me
Every clue only leads to other clues
I only see myself
It will never happen
To me

No Access

A condition that makes a person have probability zero of being noticed by a love interest. More formally, the set of people who are interested in an individual with no access is the Smith–Volterra–Cantor set with topological dimension zero and zero-dimensional Lebesgue measure. The condition was first reported on November 2015, in London, UK, and is considered incurable and irreversible.

The condition is associated in popular culture with the poem:


Rain or shine
The weather is never fine
When your face makes
Your date turn on a dime

Global warming is on
Aliens on their way
But for the ones with no access
The world remains the same

Thrown overboard
The crew is lost at sea
Straws were never drawn
For they knew it would always be
The person with no access
And that person is … me